notgrande | jikan inbox.

[ It hurts. For Venti's it's an ache that runs deep and strikes those permanent sensitive parts of him. Those spots that are used to loss and death and have found inappropriate ways to cope. Those tightly wound and neatly restrained parts that keep him from crying at any reminder of them. The boxes containing his fears of the future when the people he cares for deeply now are gone all over again.

These are the things that don't let him let go of anyone he's gotten to know and care about. It's forcing him to try and rid himself of Aether. And he doesn't recognize what it is immediately. He's never felt anything like this before.

And he bursts into surprising, immediate tears. He brings a hand to his chest, gripping it tight as he watches Aether. ]

What did you do to me?

[ Why would he think Aether would do anything to him? Aether would never. He loves Aether - a cherished, important friend. A part of his life that he's latched onto. And then there's an emptiness - and he goes numb at the realization that this is their bond breaking. ]

[Bonds were a tricky thing, especially when held together by magic as mysterious as Kizuna. Something so simple, a realization that he didn't trust Venti as much as he thought, was all it took for the fragile link connecting their hearts to snap. It hurts-- but not nearly as much as it hurts to see Venti in so much pain. He reaches up, desperate to stop the ache as the frayed edges of their bond call out to be reunited, and then--]

["What did you do to me?"]

[And with those words, something else... cracks.]

[Aether was warned countless times. Don't do anything too strenuous. Don't spend too much time alone. And most importantly: don't allow yourself to become emotionally overwhelmed. Take a step back, and calm down. Easier said than done, perhaps, but it was necessary while his soul was healing. While it was still fragile. It was the same reason his own mind was suppressing those memories of Inazuma, unconsciously aware that he can't handle them right now. Not in his current state.]

[He never expected to be experiencing a second bond breaking so soon after the first. Even if he could have handled it, those words carve out whatever pieces of their bond remained -- driving a deep crack through his already fractured soul.]

[Ah... this was all his fault, wasn't it?]

[The feeling that overwhelms him... it's so much worse than moments earlier. His whole body aches, trembling as indescribable feelings well up inside his chest. And for Venti, the first person to notice what had happened to Aether's soul up in Takamagahara -- suddenly the fractured state of Aether's soul will seem even worse than before.]

S-So... rry....

[He wraps his arms around his chest, nails digging into his upper arms as he tries to hold himself together, but-- something feels wrong. His bond with Venti was the strongest he had in Nippon, the strongest connection he's made short of the one tethering him to this world. He wants so badly to reach out to him right now, to hold him and reassure him that everything will be okay-- but he can't. What right does he have, when he's broken like this? All he'll do is break him further.]

I-I'm sorry.... V-Ven... ti...

[ The emptiness left behind where their bond was is much worse than the snap itself, Venti notices immediately. It's dizzying, and he feels...sick. Part of him wants to escape. He wants to run away from the difficult things again. He wants to hide and sleep for another hundred years or so and turn it all off. He doesn't understand what had caused the initial shatter, though he suspects he was the reason that his own words were the final snap.

And - then he just feels guilty. He tries, with every bit of effort, to stop himself from crying. It's not successful completely, though he seems at least able to catch his breath. ]

I don't understand.

[ His voice shakes. Venti latches onto his bonds so much that this is - something he doesn't fully understand the how of. Everything feels so wrong. Aether feels wrong. Not just because of the bond but because of something else - and in that moment the instinct to run away died. No.

No.

He can't leave him like this. Aether was his friend. His companion. Someone he loved like he was one of his own and beyond that. He was important. He was special. And he was seated deep in Venti's heart, and he wants it back. He wants what he had just -- not even ten minutes ago. He wants it but he also -- what if it just shatters again. What if whatever broke them this time caused it to break again. What if? What if he hurts himself again like this. What if he feels so close - loved, cared for - and then it vanishes again all over.

His eyes are red, his face is soaked with tears. How long has it been since he's cried like this? He doesn't ignore Aether's apology. He hears it so clearly - it's the most clear, loudest thing right now for him. And he reaches for him. Right now - he doesn't think it can actually get any worse, so there's nothing to lose. He takes a deep breath, pushing back a few tears for just enough to say. ]

Aether. Please.

[ Please what? He's not clear on. ]

[He doesn't know how to fix this. It's not the first time he's broken a bond. It's not the first time a broken bond led to cracks in his soul. It's not the first time he's felt like he was losing someone precious to him. And yet--]

[But why? Venti was still here. He was right here in front of him! So why did he feel so far away?]

[It's hearing his name fall from Venti's lips that finally lifts some of the fog around him. Everything felt like so much, like he couldn't even process the sound of himself crying. It all felt so far away, impossible to deal with. Like an impending avalanche of emotion that he can't possibly flee from in time.]

[But when Venti reaches for him-- Aether reaches back.]

[Because no matter how much it hurts, or how much his soul wants to recoil and run away from the situation that caused it to crack-- beyond all of that, he still loved Venti. He didn't want this rift to exist between them, nor did he want their bond to remain in limbo for even a moment longer.]

[Because Venti was his best friend. And he's never had one before.]

[It's tentative at first, the way he reaches out and rests a hand on Venti's arm. But then, all at once-- he pulls him in closer and wraps his arms around him, hugging him almost desperately, as if he might vanish in an instant. He doesn't even notice that he's been sobbing this whole time. But the moment his arms are around him, a flood of warmth spreads between them. Bonds that are once broken will always seek to become whole again. And just as quickly as it had snapped, the bond reforms, as a burst of kizuna surges between them.]

[All around them, illusions of dandelions sprout from the ground, interrupted only by the occasional windwheel aster. But Aether doesn't notice any of it, his face buried into Venti's shoulder as he continues to cry -- though perhaps now, in relief.]

[ The tears stop before anything else happens. The shaky feeling that goes all the way to his legs vanishes, and Venti doesn't feel confused or worried like he had only moments ago because he knows what he wants. He wants this warmth. That warmth he feels on his arm where Aether touches him, that warmth he feels when he's pulled into that tight, close hug. And he returns it with an eagerness he never realized he had.

He is craving that affection, that broken bond is craving repair. And he feels those cracks start to be replaced with Aether again. And he doesn't seem inclined to let go. His arms move around Aether's middle, holding the other against him with no intent to release him anytime soon. Bright gold settles in his hair and eyes. Behind him, a brief illusion of his wings he had as a wisp appear. Rather than their typical, teal color - they fade from white, to teal - to gold at the end.

But he doesn't notice anything. He just enjoys the feeling. Amazing how something like this is so straightforward to rebuild when shattered. And he's glad he stayed, he's glad he didn't run and cave to his own whims. A hand moves to the back of Aether's head, resting in his hair. His voice - is full of relief when he speaks, his name is no longer caught behind tears. ]

Aether.

[ He's glad, for once, he didn't do just what he wanted out of fear of losing someone. He defied that desire for the chance to keep him. ]

[ It'd been entirely too jarring to feel that sudden jolt of agony, stinging and harsh. He didn't know where it came from, so after a moment? Xiao reasoned it had to possibly do with Venti himself, so despite how fleeting that pain was in this instance, he instantly disappeared from where he'd been working.

All with the intent shown in his action when he reappeared only a few feet away from where he could feel Venti's presence.

There was a lot of things Xiao was expecting, but to see Aether and Venti holding each other in that way? Kizuna effects in clear view which spoke of a lot of emotions going on here. It dispelled all worries and anger he'd been starting to feel, so he walked over and knelt down near them. ]

Here. I'll carry you two back to our place to rest.

[ Did he look strong enough to carry two people at the same time? No. Was he actually capable of it? Most definitely. He sensed they must be tired after whatever happened, so walking on their own was not an option. ]

You first, Aether. Come here, please.

[Meanwhile, for his part, Aether is still crying when Xiao makes his appearance. While the bond certainly reconnected and the kizuna released undid most of the new cracks in his soul created by the break, ultimately the thing he struggled with the most right now was calming down. So he's still on edge, and still clinging to Venti, even as he looks up and-- well, attempts to say Xiao's name. It's unintelligible through tears.]

[Xiao might just need to pick him up, honestly.]

Xiao.

[ Small scales creep up his arm at simply the sight of him. There's a sense of relief at hearing Xiao's voice, turning his head slightly to see his face. His eyes are still red and puffy. His cheeks clearly are still a little damp. He moves a hand over Aether's hair and he nods towards Xiao. ]

I can teleport.

[ He doesn't want Xiao to feel obligated to carry him. Although he has a hard time letting to of Aether. He looks towards the young man. ]

You're going to have to uh - let go of me for a few, Aether.

[ He can't deny that happiness he always feels when he looks at Venti, little cecilia flowers seeming to appear amongst his hair instantly. Though the cecelia flowers might be seeming to be glittering as if illuminated by tiny golden stars, though anyone could guess which one of them caused this effect.

Xiao reached a hand up to gently place atop of Aether's head in a - hopefully - reassuring and comforting gesture before shifting and placing a soft kiss to Venti's cheek. ]

I was initially worried something bad had happened to you, so I came as soon as I could.

[ He looked back to Aether now, hoping the blond would be okay since he seemed a bit worked up still. ]

It's okay. Neither me or him are going to leave you.

Edited 2021-10-07 08:07 (UTC)

[Aether lets go when prompted, sniffling and taking in a shaky breath to try and calm back down. It felt more difficult than usual, but-- he finds himself distracted from his tears when he sees the kizuna effects showing up between the two of them. He has no reason to assume either are for him, but-- when Xiao pets him on the head, the ends of his own hair tint green.]

[But then Xiao leans in and kisses Venti and... huh. Come to think of it, why did he know to come? Neither of them spoke his name, after all. And Xiao's never suddenly appeared any of the other times Aether has been in distress-- which has been rather often in Nippon lbr. Were he and Venti always this close...? Well, it makes sense, in a way. Both had lived on Teyvat for a long time. Maybe they were already acquainted?]

[In any case, he opens his mouth to respond, but wisely thinks better of it, and just nods.

[ He reaches up a hand to brush his fingers over Xiao's cheek, though his attention stills on Aether anyway. Venti is glad to see the display of the bond between the two. Aether has been a bright spot in his own life, so he has to assume the other has been a bright spot in Xiao's, too. ]

You could feel it, couldn't you?

[ There was still a lot to figure out about bonds, but he's certain that could be something. ]

Sorry for worrying you. Aether, is it alright if Xiao carries you? I'll be right behind you.

[ His face is still puffy and shows every sign of crying. But he's working to keep it together as much as possible. He has to. He can get back easily, and though he doesn't like the idea of not being right at their side - he knows how to get home. ]

[ It was subtle, the way he leant into the touch to his cheek as eyes fell closed briefly before nodding in assent. ]

I could. There was no way I was ignoring something like that.

[ He's torn between the two of them, the one who holds his heart and the one who's left an irreplaceable mark on him and his life. Both have meaning to him and to see them both in this state hurt him a little. ]

Don't apologize for that. It's alright, Venti.

[ A part of him just wants to pull his boyfriend close and tell him it would be alright, to brush his fingers along his cheeks sweetly. There's also the wish to thread his hand through Aether's hair and give him a forehead kiss, a fleeting thought he has to push aside for now. ]

...I'd carry you both if I could. You both appear to need it...

[Somehow, seeing them like this just makes him feel guiltier. It was his own weakness caused his bond with Venti to break in the first place, and now he just being an inconvenience, getting between them when it was so obvious they'd rather be with each other right now. It's not all that different from the time he and Childe were injured, and Zhongli had to focus on his wounds first. It's was frustrating, feeling so weak.]

[Which is why, rather than wait to be picked up, he pushes himself up to stand. He's visibly unsteady on his feet, but-- despite the tears in his eyes, his expression is more determined now. Surely he can at least manage this much--]

I-I... can walk. It's fine.

[ Aether, Venti swears to himself that you're going to accept this ride home. He shifts, joining the other and then reaching a hand up to brush through Aether's hair with a small, gentle smile that manages to appear. ]

Aether - Xiao's going to take you home. I'll be right behind you.

[ Yes, he'd love some time with Xiao. Yes, he'd love the opportunity to really be held and close to the person he loves. But, Aether is important to him and he's not about to leave him behind. He's not going to make him walk home. And he is going to make sure that he comes to their place with them. He's going to make sure that Aether still feels loved and cared for. ]

I promise, okay?

[ Xiao rose to his feet and watched the two of them quietly, endeared by the soft words and contact between the two of them even as he came up to stand next to Aether with a hand on his shoulder. It's a gentle touch and after a second of debate, leant in to place a kiss to the side of Aether's head. ]

Mm. It will be alright. We aren't leaving you.

[ Only when he's given permission by the blond will he move to pull him into his arms, also of the thought that something in him didn't like seeing the blond this way. No way in hell would he ever let Aether walk home in this state, also aware of the fact Aether needed attention now and he could always cuddle Venti later when it was just the two of them. ]

[Between Venti touching his hair and Xiao giving him a soft kiss on the temple, he feels like he's being spoiled. Being treated so kindly and gently right now makes his heart ache, but he knows fighting it won't help matters either. They aren't going to let him walk back when he hardly looks like he can manage to stand.]

[Not that he really wants to fight it -- which is why he won't fight it when Xiao goes to pick him up, curling up in his arms. He doesn't look happy about it, just giving a soft sound of affirmation in response -- but the kizuna between them is far more honest, taking the form of a little golden wind wisp that circles around Xiao, and then Venti.]

[ Venti shifts to Xiao's side, so that they can both take off and make their way back home. He has every intention of getting the attention he wants from Xiao at a later time. After all they both care about Aether. They want to see him doing well, and if he's upset... they will do what they can. Which at this moment, is taking him to their place and ensuring that he feels safe.

And he can rest.

Everything had been a bit of an emotional overload for the both of them. Venti is used to pushing things like that down so he decided he would deal with his own feelings at a later time. They would be easier to manage anyway once he knew Aether was feeling better and safe.

His eyes fell on Xiao's and he nods. ]

Let's go home.

[ There's something almost protective in the way he held Aether close, but comfortably.

He'd spotted the little wisp circling around and smiled for a short moment, though looked sidelong at Venti out of concern. They both needed rest, and inherently aware that his boyfriend was keeping how he was really feeling all inside for the time being. It wasn't the place to mention it, so he just nodded at those words and waited only a short moment before he and Aether disappeared.

Only to re-appear at his and Venti's place, just inside the front door where he took a few steps forwards to wait for Venti to appear as well. ]

I'm not sure what happened, but just... try to rest. You're welcome to stay as long as you wish, Aether.

Edited 2021-10-20 10:30 (UTC)

[Perhaps it's because the newly reformed bond is so fresh, but somehow it aches when he's no longer by Venti's side, even if only for a brief moment. The guilt of everything that's happened was still weighing heavily on him, and he almost found himself wishing he could just turn off his emotions -- even if only for a moment, to catch his breath. At least then he'd be able to control himself right now.]

[A few more tears leak out, but-- he reaches up to wipe his face quickly.]

....thank you... Xiao.

[ Venti appears not even a full minute after them. He needed a moment to calm himself down. To make sure that he wouldn't burst into tears again. He has years and years of practice suppressing his feelings. Part of him feels still so fragile, thin glass ready to crack and shatter with even the smallest thing. But he has to keep face because that's what he's always done. It's not to seem like he doesn't feel anything, but rather to keep anyone else from being concerned about him.

When he appears, his face and eyes still show those signs of crying. Red cheeks and bloodshot eyes. But he otherwise looks calm - he's pushed it down far enough for it to not surface for now. ]

Welcome to our home, Aether. Let's go...relax, I think.

[ Relax means...lay down, really. Cuddle. Hold onto one another. Stay close for now. Venti hopes it makes him feel the bond is less fragile. ]

You're quite welcome.

[ There's a soft tenderness to his voice that he usually kept from others most times, gentleness in the way he held Aether close to him. It almost felt like this once strong traveler may break if he was mishandled at this point.

Even with his focus on the blond, it didn't go unnoticed how his boyfriend showed up almost an entire minute after he did. That look he caught on Venti's face pained him in a way he couldn't put into words, his own expression shifting to concern but he refrained from saying anything. Not now, anyway. ]

You two need it more than I do. Let's go.

[ As if he isn't going to stay in the room and watch over the two of them. Which he totally was.

So he'd headed towards their room after shooting Venti a look over his shoulder. Their place was relatively clean and well-maintained for what it was worth, so it didn't take long to reach their bedroom where he made to carefully kneel down and set the blond down on their bed. One clearly meant for two people, so it wasn't small and would fit the two of them comfortably. ]

[Aether isn't focused too much on his surroundings yet, but he doesn't miss the little signs. "Our" home. One large bed in a single bedroom. He wants to ask why they never said anything but... he hardly had the right to ask anyone something like that right now. Maybe they just never saw a reason to do so.]

[But while he's set down by Xiao, he's quickly sitting up once more, reaching out to grab his arm. His eyes flicker between Xiao and Venti, before he very quietly asks--]

...stay?

[He doesn't want to come between Xiao comforting Venti right now, but-- he also doesn't want to be apart from either of them. He hated how fragile he felt right now, but more than that, he hated the thought of feeling any sort of distance between himself and either of them.]

[ Venti looks between them, and he steps up, placing a hand on Xiao's arm as a signal. He steps forward nodding towards his boyfriend, his love. And his attention shifts to fall back onto Aether. ]

Of course we'll stay. Both of us.

[ He settles in next to Aether, and he eyes the spot on the other side of him. Right now? He's comforted being close to them both, and this will work for now.

After all, they would have their own time together later. He settles in, and gets close. After all, it's a space made for two that is now going to fit the three of them. ]

[ A lot of it just had to do with that Xiao wasn't the type to flaunt things and his relationship with Venti was no different. Though it wasn't like he tried to hide it either, proud of how much he loved his boyfriend more than anything else in the world.

He hadn't expected it at all when that hand grabbed onto his arm, surprise clear on his face though he never quite got the chance to really ask why Aether'd done so. It took only one look at him, along with that soft touch to his arm from Venti that had him giving in without so much as a second thought. ]

Mm. If that's what you want, I have no problem doing so.

[ Xiao's voice was soft, and impossibly light as he moved in close on Aether's other side. It wasn't hard to settle in comfortably, touches gentle and warm as his eyes fell closed. This was nice and it had a warmth settling in his chest. ]

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brilliantdiamond - 2021-11-12 14:51 (UTC) - Expand

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